One magician said that trick has to make sense. To make sense you have to talk or build some patter, it may help. Well, IMO trick hasn't made sense, it's just taking card, putting into middle and so on. I hace no idea if you got what I want to say, because as I mention ealrier my english is not good as it could be. For final tips, do not be so tense, do not move all around the room, use somthing else instead of that 'getting brake under top cards'. Something like pinky count. Just my opinion, and i am not magician, not even good at cards. So.. Judging on creativity, you did a great job.
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