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Old 11-24-2011, 03:47 PM   #1
Kieran Oloughlin
 
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Default Please help me with relationship stuff!

I need the help of kind of realthinship experinced guys and possibly girls, any help would be helpful. Sorry if this is returining to an old topic+ its not magic related but I need help! Me and this girl have been friends for almost a year now and are quite close, we hug each other often (although she hugs everyone but I think me close to most, Im not sure) we have held hands a few times, once when we where both crying (we where performing our peoms in english and so many of them where sad), another time when my stomach was cramping up (I have stomach problems and I get awful cramps and she held my hand until I felt better) and another time just for the hell of it. And lately she has kissed me, on the cheek, forhead and thisafternoon when giving each other our see ya tommorow hugs a kiss o the neck and I am trying to work out weather she likes (as in like like) me or not, and wether I her. HELP
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Old 11-24-2011, 03:48 PM   #2
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I don't know how that works in Australia, but over here it would've been way obvious that she likes you by kissing you everywhere.
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Old 11-24-2011, 03:48 PM   #3
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OR very commonly, girls who are very comfortable with guys and see them like brothers will engage in such actions. Girls can be really confusing like that.
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Old 11-24-2011, 03:49 PM   #4
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That was my first thought when reading the beginning, but a kiss on the neck shouldn't be part of that. Anyhow, you can always take it slowly and see how far she takes it herself if you don't want to take any risk.
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Old 11-24-2011, 03:49 PM   #5
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Oh, didn't read the kiss on the neck part XD Yeah, what Mark said
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Old 11-24-2011, 03:50 PM   #6
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Judging by her actions and my vast (in)experience on the matter, I'd say she definitely likes you!
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Old 11-24-2011, 03:50 PM   #7
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well, one would easily suspect that she likes you, there's a very simple way to confirm that, when you two are alone, try, very subtly( or not) to try and make an advancement on her, and see how she reacts to the very first advancement because at the first one, she is caught off guard, and will react in a way she deems suitable( if she blushes, or gives no resistance to it, that would be a YES). Try and do it without hesitation, or better yet, do it like you really like her and can't contain yourself. there are many ways to make an advancement from where you guys are at, but i can't really suggest a way... since only you yourself know all the details necessary to decide a method. GL kieran
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Old 11-24-2011, 03:51 PM   #8
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last time I tried that I got rejected. Turns out it was all a mind game. That Fin guy really knows how to toy with a man's emotions!
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Old 11-24-2011, 03:52 PM   #9
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I was sittting with her in english today and we where doing silent work (exam practice) and I finished my practice essay early, because she was reading and her hand was on the desk and I had finshed my essay and we werent reading it out loud or handing it up for marks, I spent about five minutes summing up the courage to place my hand on hers, and I finally managed it (she ussaly intiates the hand holding) and she didnt reject me push me away or give me any kind of look she just let it rest there and kind of start to rub my hand with her thumb then when I moved my hand she kind of loocked her pinky around mine (sorry if to much details) and we stayed like that until the end of th lesson and on the way to our next she reach into mine again didnt last very long this time tough because we had to go diffrent ways, but yeah...I think I like her but yeah Im not sure if she likes me or not.

Man this realthonship stuff is stressful. There is another problem, we only have very few days of school left before holdiays for about 8 weeks, so if something is to happen or one of us is to say something we need to asap, or the holidays will begin and we wont see each other much and son on.
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Old 11-24-2011, 03:53 PM   #10
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why don't you just ask her to go on a supposed friendly date, like hanging out during the holidays? you can confess then.
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Old 11-24-2011, 03:53 PM   #11
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that may work la, but confesing feelings to myself is one thing (very difficult fo rme to do) but to another well thats a whole other story
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Old 11-24-2011, 03:54 PM   #12
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Do you have her number? If you don't ask for her number so you can keep in contact with her over the break, that's an easier way to keep in contact if you're kinda shy.

Texting or calling and talking on the phone is good, because it isn't straight out declaring that u like her, its like a baby step. And then of course u can flirt through texting! flirting kinda leaves a message to her subconcious saying that i like you, without plain out saying it.
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Old 11-24-2011, 07:01 PM   #13
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A lesson for all guys best learned early in life: girls are nothing but TROUBLE.

No, seriously. what you waiting for man? The way you described your predicament you've nothing to worry about, she sounds like a nice, young lady.

Best wishes for the holidays, and behave yourselves
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Old 11-25-2011, 12:02 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kieran Oloughlin View Post
that may work la, but confesing feelings to myself is one thing (very difficult fo rme to do) but to another well thats a whole other story
it's the same for everyone, don't worry, you don't really have anything to lose if you do confess( well, you wouldn't if you have as little sensitivity as i do). i'd suggest to stand in front of a mirror and practice confessing... but that doesn't help much so i won't, instead, i suggest on a day where you decides to confess, write so on a piece of paper, and keep it with you the whole day, as well as keep yourself looking as clean as possible, that way, you'd have the most confidence as well as the most determination when you finally confess.

P.S: well, don't worry if you can't tho, everyone gets nervous about this stuff, just know that you might not ever be able to overcome the hurdle if you don't do it right when you're still young.
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"It's not the destination but the road to it that is worth the trip"
"Be careful what you wish for... it might just come true"~ old saying
"It's a small world, but only relatively"
"Reality is not the world, it is the way humankind depicts the world, thus when you alter a person's way of seeing the world, you alter reality itself"
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Old 11-25-2011, 03:30 AM   #15
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Ok Fin's here.. Everything's gonna be ok now! I feel really bad for you dude, since you sound just like me. I'm not sure how old you are but when I was at school, nearly up till the end, I was very, VERY insecure about myself, not at all confident, and especially around girls! It sometimes felt like torture. I think many guys are like this. Many aren't of course and seem to naturally just spawn girlfriends like a manga monster spawns tentacles when he finds a virgin! It's sickening to watch but us shy guys must suffer it all the same. So here's my simple tips to hopefully help get you out of this situation...

1) The time for THINKING is now over. Ever had the feeling you've thought about something over and over and over? It's easy to do. STOP going over in your head what could happen, how nervous you should be, what she might say, etc.. etc.. Just walk up to her and ask her if she fancies going out with you as your girlfriend. Say something like "I reckon we'd have fun together", and give her a nice smile. And kablam! Before you know it you'll be sat in the back of cinema with her wrapped around your hot dog!
2) You can worry for half your life about stuff that never even happens! And then worry about how much time you wasted worrying! Give yourself permission to say NO to negative thoughts. Just ignore them.. move on, think POSITIVE only and more positive things will come your way. The occasional worry or negative thought is natural, but then just acknowledge them and move on..
3) You are a very cool guy. Stop thinking about this as CONFESSING. That is the wrong word to be using for this. You have nothing to confess. In fact, WHEN you ask her out, which I think will be very soon, you will be doing her a favour, right? Because you're gonna be good for her. You will not be confessing, but OFFERING yourself, the man of her dreams! Think positive!! Place yourself on a new stage! Command your future!!
4) So what's the worst that can happen? She says no. It would be a shame but not the end of the world. How best to think about this? Well, if she says no then it's obviously not "meant to be", and frankly anyone who turns you down is not ready for you, or doesn't deserve you. Make it work for you.. don't let it knock you down. But it sounds like (4) won't apply, since she sounds pretty interested to me! So I say, go for it, and sooner rather than later or you may miss your chance. You only live once
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Old 11-25-2011, 05:57 AM   #16
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Dude.

Listen to Fin. and sorry Fin but I am one of those manga monsters [and i only use one tentacle ;D]

but anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyy

KIERAN!!!!! DUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDEEEEEEE. duddddddeeee. dude.
If we were bro's and digeroo buds, I would personally have slapped you like half a year ago man.

you NEED to and MUST start becoming more social with this girl dude. Honestly man, if a girl would be willing to kiss me on the neck and submissively [use her pinkie] approach you, [girls are clever dude, but men are smart. remember that]

GO FOR IT. that's it man.

I dont know how old you are, or what your limitations in a relationship status the either you entail, but for one thing, she is comfortable around you. That is perfect man, [high five]

Because she has this "comfort" vibe when she's with you, you can [honestly] be your own loser and keep YOURSELF in the friend zone, or tease her ideas about you [and who knows, maybe she'll spin you for a ride] and do what I like to call "push/pull".

Its a technique that I dont remember who first quoted it, but its older than written language Ill tell you that. Its one of the main one night stand pick up techniques and actually something you find in a lot of 'mentalism' and mind control. But really its just how you react to her.

SOOOOO by all that useless ramble ^ start off by continuing your own routine with how you do things. If you guys hang at certain places or times or whenever. If you guys chill hard core already its perfect, because what I suggest you do is put her in comfortable locations with private settings [where its you two guys, literally or not, just make your moment between the two of you] and push that intimacy to an extent where you feel the moment is over and then back off, "pull away". and repeat until you get to where you want to go with it.

So with what I said Fin basically covered the you part. Because in truth, relationships requires two things.

1)You
2)girl

so if you master you and understand how to manipulate yourself and your thoughts/vibes, then GET A GIRL [duh?!]

The hard part is actually the girl though. and you dont even have to worry, because the secret to getting anywhere with a girl is how comfortable she is around you. If you can get her to kiss you on the neck because she wants to let you know she wants to taste you.......

[see this is when i slap you]

so go for it buds. and remember you have to be smart of the clever mind
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Old 11-25-2011, 07:22 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fin View Post
Before you know it you'll be sat in the back of cinema with her wrapped around your hot dog!
I think this wraps up everything that needs to be said. Ketchup or Mustard anyone?
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Old 11-25-2011, 07:48 AM   #18
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ummmmmmm, why dont we get a little nasty and use mayo tonight ;D
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Old 11-25-2011, 12:45 PM   #19
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guys guys, he's in school, he's 16-17 and he's Australian, things like that shouldn't happen as easily as it does in America...

that said, go for it Kieran, we're all praying for you
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"Reality is not the world, it is the way humankind depicts the world, thus when you alter a person's way of seeing the world, you alter reality itself"
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Old 11-25-2011, 03:07 PM   #20
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thankyou guys!
I do have some news on this topic:
I had a judo grading tonight, I was not being garded I was going to be a backup uki (someone getting thrown by the person getting garded) just incase I got hurt. Anyway I invited her to come along and she did, and we held hands again, spoke for a while and when she had to leave I walked outside with her (she asked me to, I would of anyway though) and when we got to the street corner we hugged and then...kissed...on the front of the face....on the lips...

---------- Post added at 11:45 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:38 PM ----------

She said she really enjoyed it and it was the first kiss she always wanted
And I am trying to arrnage a date with her next week, wish me luck fellas.

---------- Post added 11-26-2011 at 12:07 AM ---------- Previous post was 11-25-2011 at 11:45 PM ----------

Okay yes we are going to go out next wednesday (we will have finished school then) and we shall give it a shot.
Im so happy!!! and a little nervous.
But as far as I can tell I am a terrible kisser...better start practcing now! *moves towars mirror to beign practcing*

---------- Post added at 12:25 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:07 AM ----------

I just messaged her bassicaly saying all that I felt I needed to, her reply will hopefully be reavling abotu who she feels about me and wether she really wants to give this a shot! I just really hope she does

---------- Post added at 12:26 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:25 AM ----------

Im just really nevervous about kissing her again...

---------- Post added at 12:37 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:26 AM ----------

DANM! I have exams next week which means I will be studying all weekend, which will be hard with her on my mind...and that feeling of her kssing me...
Sorry guys I should shut up
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